Friday, March 23, 2012

A Crohn's Care Package?

I have spent a lot of time in the lavatory lately. Did I just say lavatory? I am trying out new words for bathroom (which just gets old.) I find I cannot refer to the bathroom as the powder room, comfort station, or john without breaking into hysterics. When I try to call it a privy or loo, I feel I must put on a little cap and do a jig. I don't know why. Not a fan of lavatory....what do you call it? Inspire me!

Actually, in our home, you may see me run by you while screaming "I gotta 20 in a 22!" I am married to a police officer...in his department that means you are driving back to the station to use the lavatory:) Humor goes a long way in my house and my husband thinks this is fantastic.

Back to spending my time in the "special" place...I have been considering this.

Upon diagnosis with Crohn's I believe you should be handed a care package. In this care package you would find the following items...

  • an eReader 
  • a box of anti-diarrhea tablets 
  • the softest toilet paper money can buy...as well as wet wipes 
  • massive amounts of beverages loaded with electrolytes 
  • and a tiny fairy that sits on your shoulder that says "Dear, there is always someone worse off than you. Suck it up and try not to eat food that makes you s*%& your brains out."
If you have this disease or are a very empathetic person, you know why the above are in this care package:) If you know someone who has recently been diagnosed or is in the middle of a flare up, I guarantee those items would make them happy. 

If you find that fairy, please send her my way too!