Friday, March 23, 2012

A Crohn's Care Package?

I have spent a lot of time in the lavatory lately. Did I just say lavatory? I am trying out new words for bathroom (which just gets old.) I find I cannot refer to the bathroom as the powder room, comfort station, or john without breaking into hysterics. When I try to call it a privy or loo, I feel I must put on a little cap and do a jig. I don't know why. Not a fan of lavatory....what do you call it? Inspire me!

Actually, in our home, you may see me run by you while screaming "I gotta 20 in a 22!" I am married to a police officer...in his department that means you are driving back to the station to use the lavatory:) Humor goes a long way in my house and my husband thinks this is fantastic.

Back to spending my time in the "special" place...I have been considering this.

Upon diagnosis with Crohn's I believe you should be handed a care package. In this care package you would find the following items...

  • an eReader 
  • a box of anti-diarrhea tablets 
  • the softest toilet paper money can buy...as well as wet wipes 
  • massive amounts of beverages loaded with electrolytes 
  • and a tiny fairy that sits on your shoulder that says "Dear, there is always someone worse off than you. Suck it up and try not to eat food that makes you s*%& your brains out."
If you have this disease or are a very empathetic person, you know why the above are in this care package:) If you know someone who has recently been diagnosed or is in the middle of a flare up, I guarantee those items would make them happy. 

If you find that fairy, please send her my way too!

5 comments:

  1. Very well said!
    I would add something to mask the smell! :)
    Sometimes normal bathroom spray makes it worse...

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    1. Belinda, agreed! You're right, it has to be the right kind of spray, lol. Ideally, one that does not give you a headache too!

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  2. This is awesome. I'm going to use this phrase from here on out. Mostly because it will make me laugh about something that is not often funny when you're living with Crohn's. New to your blog, diagnosed with Crohn's about 4 years ago. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Kate, happy to add a little humor to an otherwise sad situation:) Stay tuned for more lovely antics! Hope you are feeling good.

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  3. We call our bathroom the executive suite.. Try that on for size

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